Tom Cardy - Red Flags feat Montaigne (перевод)
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Текст
The date started off so well
Begin my night not expecting the fright of my life
She was perfect from what I could tell
How could I not see the danger right in front of me?
“My favourite food is fish”
“Baby, that’s my favourite, too!”
“I love cartoon dogs”
“Baby, I love Scooby Doo!”
“Hey, girl what’s your favourite film?”
She said “The best movie of all
A masterpiece of art called
Human centipede
Human centipede
I think that I’m gonna get murdered tonight
Human centipede
Not ironically
She said “The costume design was a highlight”
“I like it for the plot”
“Tell me what the plot’s about?”
“German doctor sews three people ass to mouth!”
“Cool!”
Human centipede
Please, God, save me…
I think that’s a red flag
I don’t want to get stabbed
She said “Human centipede is a tour de force”
I think “Holy shit, I’m gonna be the main course…”
She said “I admire the narrative of character growth”
I try to get the waiter’s attention by blinking in Morse code
“Why are you blinking so much?”
“I’ve got something in my eye”
“Here, let me get it out”
“No, thank you, I don’t wanna die”
“Bonjour, sir was blinking at me
Is this because your date is a freak?”
“No”
“Very good, then, bon appétit”
Stop hiding behind your silly made-up red flag
To not take a chance on the best relationship you’ve never had
Maybe, you’re right and I’m looking for excuses
My heart got bruises
But I’m ready to choose this love
You could be my world, the love of my life
One day we’ll get married and be husband and wife
With a tasteful ceremony
At the wedding of our dreams
Only if the wedding is themed…
Tell, what the theme’s gonna be?
Human centipede
Human centipede
That way we could save on the catering bill
Human centipede
Only one mouth to feed
If you are the best man, you know the deal
Pucker up
I can finally open myself up to love
I can finally sew a mouth to a butt
Human centipede
Human centipede
Перевод
Свидание началось так хорошо
Я наслаждался вечером без левой мысли
С виду она была идеальна
Как же я не разглядел в ней угрозу?
“Я очень люблю рыбу”
“Милая, я тоже ее люблю!”
“Я люблю собак из мультиков”
“Милая, я люблю Скуби Ду!”
“Эй, крошка, твой любимый фильм?”
Она говорит:” Лучший фильм, киношедевр
Человеческая многоножка
Человеческая многоножка
Думаю, я умру сегодня ночью
Человеческая многоножка
Человеческая многоножка
Без иронии
Говорит: “Дизайн костюмов был потрясающим”
“Люблю этот фильм за сюжет”
“Что за сюжет?”
“Доктор-немец сшивает лица и задницы трех человек!”
“Класс!”
Человеческая многоножка
Господи, спаси…
Это красный флаг
Не убивай меня
Она говорит: “Человеческая многоножка – шедевр”
Я думаю: “Я походу главное блюдо”
Говорит: “Меня восхищает развитие персонажей”
Я моргаю официанту азбукой Морзе
“Почему ты так часто моргаешь?”
“Что-то попало в глаз”
“Дай посмотрю”
“Нет, спасибо, не хочу пока умирать”
“Бонжур, вы моргали мне,
Потому что ваша спутница – псих?”
“Нет”
“Отлично, тогда бон аппетит”
Не прячься за глупыми красными флагами
Не упусти лучшие отношения в жизни
Может, ты права, и я ищу оправдания
На душе у меня раны
Но я готов к любви
Ты можешь стать всем для меня
Однажды мы поженимся
На красивой церемонии
Свадьбе нашей мечты
Только если тематика свадьбы…
Какой будет тематика?
Человеческая многоножка
Человеческая многоножка
Сэкономим на еде для гостей
Человеческая многоножка
Нужно кормить только один рот
Веди себя хорошо
И тогда…
Вытяни губки
Наконец я откроюсь любви
Наконец я пришью рот к заднице
Человеческая многоножка
Человеческая многоножка
Last edited by: soqweru
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Biography:
From Improv Theater Sydney:
Tom Cardy is an improviser and musician who’s love for performing and comedy can all be traced back to his love of improv from his high school days. Whilst studying psychology and music, Tom wrote and performed for several Sydney University arts revues as well as his own sell out comedy festival shows, all the while teaching improv and sketch at high schools around Sydney.
Tom is a multi-instrumental composer, who’s love of combining comedy and music has seen him compose for the likes of SBS’ The Feed, Amazon series The Moth Effect, the Sydney University Revue and the award winning musical Inner West Side Story. As well as composing and teaching musical improv, Tom has also musically accompanied a variety of improv performances (Cranston Cup, Celebrity Theatresports, The Bear Pack, Impro Australia‘s Theatresports Schools Competition).
Blending comedy and music, Tom’s own musical comedy videos have millions of likes online, with a combined total of over 1M people following him on different platforms. In August 2021 he released his first EP Artificial Intelligence.
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Tom Cardy - Red Flags feat Montaigne
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